It seemed that all that was being attempted, encountered brick walls. Relationships were strained. Efforts to accomplish home projects, daily home maintenance, and the simplest of tasks seemed to encounter resistance from those being asked for help {i.e. husband, children}. What's a girl to do? I did what I don't do very often...cried! I could not seem to do anything else. Though I try as I might, my efforts seemed to be in vain.
Of course, then the enemy takes advantage of the opportunity he was given and planted deceptive lies in my mind:
- Why bother...it is only going to get dirty again!
- You always expect too much...you can't even reach your own expectations and yet you put them on your husband...your children {very true...I do have high expectations for myself and my family...justifying such as biblically based}
- Who cares if the soffit and gutters get cleaned? JUST YOU...
- Who cares if the school closet is organized? JUST YOU...
- Who cares if the x, y & z are done? JUST YOU...
- Look at your children...you have failed in training them to obey, respect, honor, cheerfulness, {just fill in the blank with any character trait}...
It took a day of withdrawal...not without affecting those that I love, however...before the Lord gripped my heart. Although, there was physical retreat from those around me, I still made dinner {and a couple for others...isn't ministry to others a way to take your eyes off yourself?}, keep tasks done that were needed...but in my heart I withdrew. {Not good...instead, I should have RUN to the Lord, receiving the grace He extended...an He did. Zach ran out to Wendy's and brought home lunch for the children and me {unbeknownst to me}, a dozen red roses and chocolate as an offering of grace and love...the children just wanted to give hugs...my heart was aching and I just found it made it worse to receive those things, making me cry all the more.}
I couldn't receive grace ~ grace undeserved ~ but is that not what the Lord has done through salvation? Extended grace to a wretch...a worthless worm as the famous hymn says...from a person who's offerings are but filthy rags to Him. Is that not the beauty of grace? It isn't deserved...it can't be earned or bought...it is a FREE GIFT to one who doesn't deserve it!
Well, with a humble heart I asked the Lord to forgive me and to continue to sanctify me in this calling of motherhood. I revisited those questions above and spoke truth into them.
- Why bother...it is only going to get dirty again!
- TRUTH: It is only going to get dirty again, BUT it is through doing these tasks and training the children to do these tasks that character is formed. "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." 1 Corinthians 10:17
- You always expect too much...you can't even reach your own expectations and yet you put them on your husband...your children {very true...I do have high expectations for myself and my family...justifying such as biblically based}
- TRUTH: It's not just the expectations, it's the motives ~ are my motives PURE and seeking to please the Lord or are they to please men? "By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything." 1 John 3:19-20
- Who cares if the soffit and gutters get cleaned? JUST YOU...
- Who cares if the school closet is organized? JUST YOU...
- Who cares if the x, y & z are done? JUST YOU...
- TRUTH: "Go to the ant, O sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise, without having any chief, officer or ruler, she prepares her bread in summer and gathers her food in harvest." Proverbs 6:6-8 {We are not here to be slothful in our work...we are to be diligent, preparing for tomorrow and being an example to our children in how we do our work. With another baby being added in the upcoming weeks, the fact of the matter is: things DO need to be done.}
- Look at your children...you have failed in training them to obey, respect, honor, cheerfulness {just fill in the blank with any character trait}...
- TRUTH: I, just like my children, fall short in my heavenly Father's eyes. Do I not need to be reminded? Do I still stumble and repeat lessons I should have learned? Does my Father not still chasten me? The training of children is the same. As a loving mother, I must press on in teaching them in the love and admonition of the Lord...so that when they are old they will not depart from that teaching. {Deut. 6:7; Prov. 22:6}
Thankfully, motherhood is not a calling without a guidebook or support. We have a Book to turn to for wisdom, truth, encouragement, instruction, hope...the Holy Bible. We have One who cares about what we do...discipling the next generation {motherhood is a work of missions}, the struggles, fears, discouragement we encounter {He is always there with us...He is our intercessor and does hear our prayers. He sends us support through His Word and His people.}
Renewing my mind with these truths {and so many more...}:
- But now the righteousness of God has been manifested apart from the law, although the Law and the Prophets bear witness to it -- the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. Romans 3:21-25
- There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1
- For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. Romans 8:18
- So we do not lose heart. Though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
- And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9
- For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. Ephesians 2:8-9
- Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6
- She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. Proverbs 31:28-29
And then reminders of the many joys of motherhood... |
1 comment:
Thank you for this transparent view
of what it looks like in others....
His strength made perfect
in (your) weakness
Living, breathing II Corinthians 12:9
Beautiful.
{{* *}}
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