Year End Concert


The Quartet and FYO Scholarship presentation...a young man who will pursue further music studies
Getting ready to play their selected pieces...


The FYO with some of the highschool band members joining in with percussion instruments


A crowd pleasing "surprise" ending to the evening with "Stand by Me"...the auditorium was filled with rhythmic clapping to the orchestra playing the tune and Mr. Umbarger singing...

Thankful for the inspiration Mr. May imparted to the FYO program and its students, the strength of the students to carry-on when tradegy came and encouraged by the gifted direction of Mrs. Umbarger...taking the inspiration given to the next level.  Looking foward to next year!

Teach Me to Number My Days...How They Have Been Numbered of Late ~

With weeks of not posting, I thought this morning I would try to pull something together.  Time I normally would have given to journal, I have applied to things that have been more needful, trying to keep my family responsibilities balanced with spending time with Mom...trying to mix in to that some fun activities with the kids, when possible. 

Here is a short picture version of the past few weeks and where the Lord has directed my attentions.  Many hours have been spent with mom and the gift of time given by friends has allowed me to give undivided attention to her...be it helping to get things in order (paperwork and hours of phone calls), things around the house or what has been most preciuos to me are the times of documenting her life.  A project I look forward to doing is a biography scrapbook...using the hours of recordings of her life stories and history as the inspiration behind it.

Life in pictures...

Character Building
Learning to play "together ~ nicely"...

Life Skills
Big sister helping to learn to ride a bike...4 years old and off he goes!

Learning & Family Field Trips
A very interested young man in learning about the Coast Guards...that may be the path he will walk on in the future ~ the opportunity to tour this boat was during the "Lighthouse Days" last month...very full day and well attended event!

Pony rides at this same event...two very happy children!
Climbing the tower will have to be done another day...too crowded this time.

A visit with out-of-town family on a blistery early Spring day to the inlet and tour of the fort.


Ministering
Lots of working at Gran's to get things back on track...
And hours of time spent talking, listening to history, and meals together with Gran...God is so good. (no pictures of this...but all will be cherished and one day...Lord willing...put into a book, a history scrapbook)

Times of Refreshment
Time spent celebrating another year of life with many friends...praise the Lord for snippets of His refreshment and encouragement in the midst of life's fullness of days.  This young friend's birthday served as a time to get together with other friends, making memories and learning valuable life lessons along the way...


And the gift from Him are moments like these, given at just the right moment during life's trials and very full days of responsibilities.  He is gracious to give times of laughter, simple play, a reminder of His goodness ~ a welcome distraction when they days are difficult.  :-)



Holidays
And then Ressurrection Sunday...morning worship and evening dinner, Mom joining us for our Traditional "Ressurrection Roll Making" and our evening meal ~ a blessing this year and for the years to come...
(hard to make everyone happy...)


One foot infront of the other...

The past couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of living.  Celebrations of life, memorializing another's life, evidence of fullness of days, tears in the throughs of life...

The Lord has given many days of opportunity to spend time with Mom...she has come "home" the past couple of weeks to stay several days at a time.  In that time, all of my attention has been given to helping to minister to her needs as best I can...thankful for the time to be able to use God's gifting to help go through months of mail with her, set-up files for finances and health information, assist with trying to reduce expenses and make necessary phone calls, clean, run errands, etc.  There have been moments of going through pictures with her and my sister...meals together...playing games...the gift of time...

Things have been challenging for me as I try to keep my time available for Mom, while still doing all that my own family and home requires...home schooling, home business (with the addition of designing two ads), tax preparation and all that requires to make it a simple as possible for our accountant, shear managing of our home (laundry - the NEVERENDING DAILY NEEDED task, cooking, keeping things in their place while three young ones create challenge to this ongoing endevour, etc.), staying on top of everyone's schedule (college/work schedule for Zach, orchestra for Austin, work for Mark), nursing a growing baby (who doesn't have the night schedule down yet...with teething, tummy issues, etc.), several piles of unfinished projects lurking at me (I have finally been able to begin tackling these), a memorial service for Austin's Orchestra Director... 

I must humbly admit that the past couple of weeks have been overwhelming...tears trickled on more than one occasion as evidenced most recently while holding a crying baby, as the gush of reality overtook me and the kindness of friends was just more than I could bare.  It is ALWAYS easier for me to give and do, than to receive...never wanting to reach out, as I understand each of us have home responsibilities...children to raise, and reconciling it in my mind that I would not want to ask for help until it is REALLY needed...believing there could always be worse days ahead. 

Trying to press on with the truth that "I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH HIM WHO GIVES STRENGTHENS ME!" (Philippians 4:13 ~ emphasis added).  Screaming this verse to myself and praying for the grace to do so.  I am thankful for God's mercy of friends that extend a helping hand with caring for my children, so that I am more available to be with Mom...coming home to nurse and then going back to be with her.  These will be precious times I will have to cherish in the days, months and years ahead.  I am thankful for a husband who has gone above and beyond to provide for the needs of our family, truly pitching in with the children and home so that I can once again be with Mom.

Battling guilt of not giving more to my children (in the way of time, effort) to make their birthdays special.  Three birthdays in a two week span.  Battling the guilt of not doing a special post for Graham & Alyssa, as I had done for Zach.  Barely managing the cake for each...but really, in the scheme of this season, I was reminded (thank you, my friend) that this year will be looked back on as time spent with Gran ~ redeeming the time and not being self-absorded.  It is our season and there will be other years for bigger birthday gatherings...they are young still.  :-)  Thankful, however, for the traditional birthday sunrise with Mark, breakfast following and homemade cake...a special tour of our local fire station on Graham's birthday and the gift of a beautiful sandcastle at the beach on Alyssa's birthday.  The additional (unplanned) gift of time with friends on each birthday was a sweet blessing that did make their day special. 




I was gifted with time this past week to be able to focus on our home...pulling things back into order, purging to continue on that path of simplifying with understanding that there will be days ahead that require it.  So thankful for the Lord's provisions ~ the recipient of the gifts of Christian 'living out the Scriptures': "baring one another's burdens" and "two are better than one...a threefold cord is not quickly broken ".  Encouraged to know that this season is a season of time redemption, of character building, of drawing near to Him, of staying fixed on heavenly things...focusing on each day as the Lord directs and trying not worrying about tomorrow.

Because of Him ~
"Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness.  For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.  And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God.  And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.  For those whome he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.  And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified."  Romans 8:26-30

20 Years Ago Today...

4:35am
7lbs. 11oz.  21 1/2" long
Minutes after his birth...

Twenty years ago today I became a mother of the child I carried in my womb for 9 months.  After 12 hours of labor at the birthing center, Zachary entered this world.  As a young (18 years old) mother and newlywed, I entered a new season of life...motherhood.
 

Remembering pregnancy and his birth story brings back a flood of emotions that goes something like this ~

Mark and I were young, high school sweethearts who met and fell in love on a blind date (blind for me, but he actually saw me a month earlier and arranged this date through a friend of mine...that's a whole nother post).  I finished highschool at the end of May 1989, graduated and one month later (June 27, 1989) we found out that we were expecting.  Surprise, fear, excitement, fear, steadfastness of having this baby inside me ~ NEVER questioning that I would, telling our parents (that could be a post in and of itself)...fear, mixed reactions...wedding plans.  We married on July 30th and entered the first major season of my life...wife.
  

My pregnancy, being the first one I had ever experienced, brought a flood of emotions along side of the body changes.  I was very thin at 17 and my waist expanded...it was hard for my mind not to understand that I was not fat, just PREGNANT.  =)  I gained 28 pounds and never had the need for "real maternity clothes" although I think I did buy a pair of shorts, pants and a couple shirts...just because.  My has that changed!  I remember crying (for no apparent reason), being tired, dizzy early on...probably due to my eating habits and lack of iron, experiencing "Charlie Horses" in the middle of the night toward the end of my pregnancy, and being exhausted after working each day.
 

We started out seeing an OBGYN, however it never felt like the right thing for me.  For one, I had never been to a GYN before being pregnant and then the setting just felt doctorish.  Not to mention, I really did NOT want to go to the hospital, let alone deliver a baby in one.  Now my upbringing was not such that would have directed me in any way other than a hospital...but I was not at peace.

 Several months into my pregnancy, I found out that a friend had delivered in a birthing center.  Never heard anything about them before then (okay, just remember I was young and computers were not what they are today...flood and accessibility of information at the entering of a keyword).  Once hearing about her "mid-wife" (also a new concept) and the birthing center, I KNEW this was what I needed to do!

Mark and I scheduled an appointment to see the RN mid-wife and see if she would even allow me to become a patient of hers (I think I was at the end of my second tri-mester).  Although, this was not 'standard' practice for her to accept someone this far along, looking back now I am ever-so-grateful that the Lord had directed our path accordingly.  I finished my pregnancy out under her care ~ loved her!  Gentle, caring, and informative (which helped me tremendously).
 

Moving ahead to February 26th...we walked around our neighborhood I believe ALL day!  I had contractions and called Mark, who was working over an hour away.  He left the job to come home.  We walked and walked and walked.  Around 5:30pm, we drove to the birthing center which was about 30 minutes away, sure that I was in 'labor'.  They checked, put me on a monitor to time the contractions for a while, then said we should go home.  I was determined that I was in labor (not that I really knew what that was) and was frustrated when the nurse on duty sent us home.  Two hours later, pop!  Sploosh!  Oh my goodness, uncontrolable flow of water!  Talk about uncomfortable.  =)

Back in the car we got and drove back to the birthing center, sure that Zach was coming.  Contractions, water flowing, excitement, fear of the unknown...I was like, "I told you that I was in labor."  ;-)  Mark carried me into the birthing center.  The nurses on duty were curious as to why he was carrying me...if I stood the water flowed even more.  Okay, no one told me what I should do about that ~ oh the things we learn as we get older.  =)

Well, we got to stay this time.  They assigned us a room.  I remember thinking, anytime I am just sure he's going to come right out.  Okay, another lesson learned...birth typically doesn't 'just happen' that quickly.  We walked around the birthing center hours.  I showered several times to help with pain and to help relax me.  I was getting tired.  Finally, as things got more intense I only found comfort laying on my side and humming through each contraction.  Transition arrives and I get sick.  Thirty minutes of pushing and Zach is born!  What a HUGE relief!  Tired and relieved that the pain of labor was over.  It really IS labor (work) to have a baby.  =) 

Mark and I were overwhelmed that Zach was finally here (early by a few days from the original 'estimate') and a combination of each of us.  He had Mark's feet and was so alert at birth.  He was laid on my chest right after delivery, looked at both of us and seemed so peaceful.  It was amazing ~ tears of joy!  We loved him as soon as we saw him (this little active boy that I bonded with in the womb)!

We stayed the night at the birthing center and tried to get some rest.  It was a long night ~ my dad drove up to see his first grandchild the day he was born...we did get a little rest and then went home on the 27th.  Nursing woos, crying, sleepless nights, unexpected out-of-town relatives stopping in to visit...all set in the first few days home.  So many things this first time mother didn't know!
First professional photos ~ 3 months young

BUT ~ I gladly take those days and hold them as cherished memories.  Knowing how special this time was, knowing now, as a Christian, that God, even then, was directing my path.  Understanding the blessing of this day 20 years ago and each day since...through so many different seasons of life ~ growing of a babe inside a womb, to the birth of an infant, to a boy, to a young man.  Praising God for what He has done and will continue to do. 

We love you and pray God's blessing, protection and direction for you!  Happy Birthday!

Love ~

Mom...Dad...and crew


"For you formed my inward parts, you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. You saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there were none of them."
Psalm 139:14-16
Senior picture ~ 2008

"For I know that plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

College talent show, singing a song he wrote about the regret of not sharing the Gospel ~ 2009

 
"Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward.  Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth.  Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!  He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate."  Psalm 127:3-5

His mercy is new and His grace is sufficient...

As I recall the events of these past few months and reflect on my days, my response to the demands and fullness of days and balance it all with the way the Lord has so quickly moved, answering prayers and going before it prompts me to write about something I believe we, as Christians, all have felt and gone through. The battle of not being anxious, but rather holding on to peace. The battle of not responding to stress and demands in our flesh, instead responding in the Spirit. The battle of giving thanks and maintaining joy, instead of being overwhelmed, fearful and frustrated when things are difficult. Now, don’t read this with the impression that things are hopeless here. It isn’t…for my hope is in Christ (Hebrews 6:11-20). This post is a sheer reflection on the days gone by…and anticipation of the days ahead.



I am thankful for the truth of those words… “His mercy is new and His grace is sufficient for thee!” I don't know about you, but some days just seem to start off challenging. Instead of that peaceful start to the day...you know the one where you wake up BEFORE everyone else does, get quiet time in with the Lord, a shower and get on to chores...the day starts hard. You don't get up on time (because maybe you were up half the night with a sick child or a baby that thinks it's the perfect time to coo and 'talk'), which seemingly throws everything into 'playing catch-up mode'. It's these verses that I hold on to...with anticipation of His mercy.

Maybe, I don't get the quiet time in that I need. Maybe the shower is postponed ~ or even still, nixed altogether. Maybe the day will require some rerouting of chores, school, & meals. But it's at this point that I SHOULD choose to call on Him, to thank Him for the curve ball and to believe that "His grace is sufficient" for me. I do not have to "wait until the next day for His mercy". He extends it to me throughout the day as I walk in faith...as I take "every thought captive" by combating feelings and thoughts of defeat with the truth of His Word. Maybe the day turns in to be more than a day…maybe it is a season.


Although I seem to have many late nights and many demands, His truth does not change (praise the LORD!). =) I can’t imagine being the only Christian that struggles with maintaining joy in the midst of heavy days. It sometimes feels down-right defeating…however, it is always such an encouragement to me to have a little reminder, be it from a dear friend or from my family that it's only a day, a moment…just as it blesses me to encourage you.


Life sometimes seems like this “peak and valley” process. I remember a word picture a pastor painted that I have drawn encouragement from over the years… “Our Christian walk is a set of hills and valleys, but one that is always climbing as the Lord sanctifies us. Although there are going to be “trials” (His words says there will be if you follow Him), we are always moving forward and upward, as the Lord continues to refine us…” This is not his exact wording, as it has been years ~ but a close summary of them.


The Lord is bigger than any obstacle and He cares for me (1 Peter 5:7). That maybe it is through that obstacle that He will use it for my good (my spiritual growth, the testimony He gives me through walking in obedience) and His glory, as that familiar verse of Romans 8:28 resonates in my ears. Maybe that trial or obstacle is to grow character...perseverance, diligence, learning to prioritize or to be flexible, to be hospitable or to serve others, as I can draw from Romans 5:3. Whatever the case, I know that His Word does NOT return void...that IT is profitable for teaching, for reproof, for training in righteousness (2 Timothy 3:16) ~ so I cling to it, meditate on it, and pray that through doing so it will shape me to be more like Him.


What do you do when things seem insurmountable? How do you handle those days when all seems muddled, seemingly unproductive, and moving backwards? How do you put to practice what you KNOW to be true and what practical application have you found to help move again in the right direction? Your comments, not only bless me, but I am sure will encourage all of us that have had “those” days.


Remembering that His mercy is new and His grace is sufficient...that He is the One directing each of our paths ~ that we plan, yes, so that when “'those days” come, we, by the grace of God, will handle them with the fruit of the Spirit.


Humbly ~